Friday, July 16, 2010

Home Again Home Again Jiggety Jog

Sometimes home is a place you need to go back to to remind yourself of why you left in the first place.

Had a bit of that this past weekend.   We travelled back to Philly for a surprise party for Mark's aunt.   WE got to be the surprise. :)   The party was wonderful...the way peoples faces lit up when they saw Mark again and FINALLY got to meet Arietta and Rowan (yes we HAVE been gone *that* long.)  was priceless.   The food wasn't the healthiest but's a party...for a large Italian kinda expect that.

Then Sunday was brilliant.   Went to see Mary Ellen of my dearest friends and ex-sister-in-law.   Was just like we had never been apart.    Mark's sister came with us and his Mom and Stan joined us.   Stan even played with the kids (croquet of all things) and they had a blast.   Then Mommy-Lynn and Stan took us all to Friendly's for Ice Cream/Dinner and then home to watch a Movie.  

I kept thinking to myself that I wouldn't mind moving back towards Philly to be back with all this again.

Then MONDAY...again brilliant.   Hung out with old friends of Mark who are new friends of mine...Jewels in the morning and Jon in the afternoon and their respective children.   AND we got to have an old friend of both of ours Rommy hang out in the afternoon too.   Was just wonderful.

The we were off to dinner at Bibi's...

... and then it hit me.

The gender-role stereotyping at dinner (women-folk feed their children while the men sit and talk)  

The lack of food diversity (meat, potato, gravy, stuffing,   and one salad with *a* cucumber, *a* tomato, *a* cut carrot and iceberg lettuce)   I think MY children devoured 9/10ths of the cucumber, tomato and carrot too.     The laizze-faire discipline at dinner...let's have the TV ON in the other room while the kids refuse to eat or stay sitting and then reward them with ice cream (mind you I was VERY proud of my 3 who STAYED AT THE TABLE and ATE while this was going on...even the 4 yr old)  

All of this I could handle's not like we would LIVE there and I know Mark will be attentive and not allow them to subtly shunt him into a gender-biased role.

But then it hit me square across the face....out of the mouth of one of the older male relatives came something that made my jaw hit the floor and my brain sieze up.     I was literally floored.    I had thought that racist derogatory terms for someone whose skin happens to have a different hue were a thing of the past (or of isolated pockets of KKK-ville)   But no...apparently people still use language like that to describe (his words)  "those people"

Well let me tell you something Uncle-Racist.   I won't have *MY* children around THOSE People...and by that I mean YOU.     I will not condone such appalling bigotry by remaining in the same house or allowing my children to do so. 

PEOPLE are PEOPLE regardless of hue
But I won't have my children round people like YOU
People who judge by the color of skin
are not people whose company I choose to be in
A very sharp reminder for Mark and I that living a ten hour drive from family might not be such a bad idea after-all.