Twas the Night Before

... And the presents were nestled all under the tree
whilst children slept lightly waiting to see

So lift up a glass and we'll toast to Yule cheer
We don't have to be close for our hearts to be near.
Happy Holidays Everyone

Interpretations

Someone posed an interesting question today on a board I frequent. Basically bringing up the commandments "Thou shalt not kill" and lying and looking for peoples opinions. You see her husband is a soldier and they were discussing whether God would consider killing to save others or killing in self defense to still be breaking that commandment. OR would god be upset that he lied if telling the truth would cause thousands to die. She wanted opinions on whether or not we thought that God would ever be 'ok' with someone breaking a commandment.
I don't think she wants my opinion.
Honestly, I'm sorry, but there is no room for interpretation here. If you follow this religion then the commandment clearly states "Thou Shalt Not Kill"; not "thou shalt not kill...UNLESS". These laws (or commandments) were not in the least ambiguous. You cannot change this...lol...it's 'set in stone'...literally. The thing is that if you choose to break a commandment then you need to work out the ramifications of that with your god. It's a personal thing. You need to make your own peace with it and no one else can do it for you.
It seems to me sometimes that people want someone else to tell them that "it's ok" and pat them on the head. A super-mommy figure to take the responsibility away from them.
Well...life doesn't work that way.
We are each responsible for the choices that we make and all the ramifications of those choices...ignorance and justifications aside...it's still our actions and our responsibility. To throw another analogy in there; no one can 'lift the cross' of accountability from your shoulders.
Think of what a wonderful world it would be if everyone sat back and realized that it doesn't MATTER what your orders are...it doesn't COUNT that someone else said "it's ok"...that NONE of that absolves you from the full 100% accountability for all the consequenses of the actions you choose to take. Ignorance doesn't absolve responsibility.
My choice = my action = my responsibility. Live with it or make a different choice, but don't ever think that someone else can take that burden from you.

Giving

Sometimes I wonder if people really think about WHY we give gifts. Especially at this time of year. There was a post on one board I frequent where someone wanted to know what to get for 2 people coming to her house. Apparently she "doesn't like" the things they are interested in and didn't want to get a gift card for them because they would buy "nonsense".
Since when did shopping for someone become more about the giver than the recipient?
Since when did choosing a gift bestow upon one the right to be judgemental about another's likes?
I always thought that the point of giving a gift was to make someone ELSE happy. Of course you get something out of it too...you get that wonderful feeling of seeing their face light up because you found something perfect for them.
When did 'obligation' giving or 'one-up-manship' giving become the norm? Giving to look like the better person.
If that is your only reason to shop for this person then, in my opinion, don't bother! You have lost the purpose...the definition of "gift".
I try to teach my children to give from the heart. To take this opportunity to put another's likes and wants before their own and to really see how well they know the person. It's not about the cost of the gift but the thought behind it. THAT is the weight by which a gift should be measured.
Now I don't mean the trite 'it's the thought that counts' excuse for picking whatever. I mean that it's the amount of thought that goes into picking something "just right" for that person.
Thoughtful giving.
Thinking of others.
Letting go of our ego and our need to be better or nicer.
Taking 'ourselves' out of the equation and truely thinking about others.
Giving
Gift
We gain so much more when we GIFT of our time and hearts and thoughts.
The true purpose of the season...at least for me.

Announcement

Arietta has her first loose tooth. My baby girl is growing up (sniff).
She is soooo excited :)

Words of Wisdom

Sometimes in the midst of life I come up with a rare gem. Some word of wisdom offered up to another in the moment that is something I would do well to remember for myself. Going to try find some of those gifts of insight in my back communications and centralize them here. This entry will be in flux for a while as I add things...feel free to skip/skim/or revisit.

You create who you are by your own self image; love yourself enough to create someone beautiful.
Those who live in toddler houses shouldn't have glass balls
Make others treat you with the respect you deserve.
You are drawn to teach what you need to learn...and are usually good at it.
Don't dimish the complement. Accept it, and know that it is true.
The best thing you can do for yourself is learn to accept complements without quantifying them
Don't let anyone put you down by not allowing you to validate yourself
Those who love you raise you to greater heights...that is the point of loving someone
If you see yourself as attractive then you become attractive no matter your body type...a lot of being attractive is attitude.
Crying is good in measured doses. It washes the windows of the soul so you can see clearly again.

Words and Signs

Ok I am trying to compile a list of all the words and signs that Rowan knows right at this moment:

Words:

Mama
Dada or DAD
Joo-e-en or JOOD (Julian)
Ah-eh-ah (Arietta)
O-an (Rowan)
Muck (milk or any liquid in a cup)
Out (with his own sign)
Help
shoe
bubble
hand
nose
noonul (noodle)
Taaaah oo (Thank you...with sign)
ssp ssp ssp ( kitty)
arararar (Honopu - 0ur dog)
dog
No No No (of course)
fish (with sign)
book (with sign)
sleep (with sign)
Up
dat (that)
Hot
ow (signs 'hurt')
brooon (balloon)
behBE (baby)
Duh (duck)
Sit
boo (like peek a boo)
bobble (bottle)

Signs:

Nurse
Bird
Bath
more
water
eat
change (as in diaper)
rain (sometimes)
please

O Tannenbaum O Tannenbaum

We got our TREEeee!!!
I am so excited...can you tell? LOL
Its just not the Holidays until I get the smell of a real pine tree in my house.
We got a 6/7 ft Noble Pine and it is soooo pretty. Now all I want to do is get some cider cooking and carols playing and DECORATE. Of course it's like 11:30 at night and I have no cider to mull and can't play carols with the kids asleep...but...
It's the thought.
I think tomorrow I'll put some chai on the stove and christmas songs on the radio and straighten up and decorate. Trim my tree with lights and ornaments and enjoy the sights and smells that mean "holiday season" to me.
O Christmas Tree
O Christmas Tree
How lovely are thy Branches.

Whoops

Bit of a mommy goof. Um. I went to log the 2 new teeth that Rowan has (he's been teething and cut a molar on the 2nd and an eye tooth last night).
Well...
When I went to record it all in the baby book I realized that I never recorded when tooth number 8 broke through.
um...
ooops.
Good thing I post on my mommy board...lol.
Was able to track down a post I made about it.
September 3rd.
geeez who knew the 3rd child would mean my brain stopped working.

Advice to Remember

I think I have high expectations of my children and high expectations of myself as a parent...sometimes too high. Sometimes I have to step back and realize that I have to parent as WHO I AM and not as who someone else is. I'll be the best for my kids if I am the truest to myself. I may not have a house that is in order and picture perfect all the time (or ever! lol) I may not be able to do the marvelous recipes, or be crafty and creative, or take my kids on outings all the time, or organize our time so we do alphabets and learning etc etc. I see another parent do that and sometimes I think that my kids would be better off "if only I could..." What I try to keep reminding myself of is the fact that no one can do everything or be everything and I need to be happy with who I am and how *I* relate to them. WHen I am in that space and can forgive myself and let go of the need to be "perfect" then I am happier and the behavior doesn't seem like an attack...I'm better able to handle it b/c *I* am not disappointed in myself and therefor I don't think my kids are disappointed in me. It's REALLY REALLY HARD and I'm no where near there all the time but I am doing better.

Cats

I turned to look in my lower livingroom and saw this:


Cats will cuddle anything with a lap.

Growing up.

My little one is getting so big now. He wants to do everything all on his own. The other week he ran himself a bath. Seriously. I told him 'just a minute' and then was startled to hear water running in the bathroom. Apparently he climbed into the tub with the bubble bath, put the plug in the drain, and turned on the cold water (cold water tap is loose...hot is NOT). When I got there he was holding the bubble container under the running water trying to figure out why there were no bubbles.
The other day he put on an oven mitt and stood at the stove door saying "help?"
His vocabulary is expanding too. I love the word explosion. It is my favorite time :)
Can we slow it all down though...it's going too fast.

Metamorphosis

I am turning into my grandmother. Seriously. Ok, not COMPLETELY seriously but you know. I'm finding that when I keep my house in order my inner "gram" comes out. This is not necessarily a 'bad' thing either. My gram raised me because my mom worked full time and she was a pretty wonderful lady, lemme tell ya. I was awfully lucky to have that in my life. She instilled in me a love of learning that nothing could take away. Even during my 'I don't care' years of school I STILL learned all on my own about things that interested me. Learning HOW to learn is a pretty amazing gift.
I digress. What I mean by 'turning into my gram' is I am suddenly, out of the blue, baking. Cooking. Me. Not from a box either. I've roasted chicken and turkey; made homemade pie crust. This past weekend I baked gingerbread cookies...from scratch. Today I made homemade macaroni and cheese...with a roux even (not that I know what a 'roux' IS...but I made one). I have all my Christmas cards done. Handwritten using calligraphy even. I'm climbing on ladders putting up decorations. I'm BAKING (yes I know I said that but it's a biggie)
The neat thing about all this is that I am really having fun doing it. I quite enjoy doing special 'homey' things for the kiddos. All this purging and releasing of "stuff" is making me a better parent, I think. It's definitely a step in the right direction...now I need to work on that "one foot in front of the other" thing and I'll be golden :D

Ow

All of the cleaning and sorting and whatnot has kicked up a huge amount of dust and now I have a sore throat. Ow. sniff.
I'm having a Hot Toddy of lemon honey and brandy in hot water. Yum. Honey-Lemon Throat drop with a 'kick'.
Now let the baby fall asleep so I can go to bed!

Emerging from Chaos

So

We finally closed the Hanalei Payroll office and now have the business running out of our house. This has been a long time coming and I'm glad it's finally here. Paying two rents out here when things have gotten SOOoooo expensive just isn't feasible. So. Ok. The office closed this past weekend. This is good.

What is not good is that I now have all the contents of said office IN MY HOUSE. It would be one thing if it was all organized and necessary. Sadly though we inherited the office from the pack-rat recycler. Mark threw out a gazillion bags of garbage and we STILL had an insane amount show up.

Now mind you, my house was in chaos to begin with. I had just gotten a handle on laundry and my bedroom when this all walked through the door Fri and Sat. Sigh. To top it all off Mark separated a rib on Sat throwing the old copier away so that kinda limits how helpful he can be.

Well I am proud to announce that I have gotten a handle on the chaos and have done some major purging at the same time. I went through my books and thinned out a good 3 boxes worth. We went through old VHS tapes and filled another box with those. All of Rowan's baby toys are gone and so are a bunch of old baby clothes. We also tossed about 3 bags of garbage and earmarked another 2 boxes for give-away. I wanna know where it was all hiding!

My upper living-room got reorganized and decorated for the Holidays. My lower living-room is sorted and organized and I am working on the crafting/art area right now. There is just no real storage out here and we NEED to just get rid of the things in our life that no longer serve us. If we are a slave to our possessions we can hide behind them and miss out on living. I'm tired of hiding. My new cleaning Mantra is Use, Need, Place.
Can I Use it?
Do I Need it?
Does it have a Place?
It must meet those criteria to stay.

Tis the season of letting go.